Posts from the ‘Marriage’ Category

The Theology of Marriage Part 1

The attack on biblical marriage is nothing new. It has been going on since the beginning of time. There is nothing new under the sun (Eccl 1:9). What it all comes down to is the age-old debate,  “Indeed, has God really said….?” ~Gen 3:1~ . Our enemy is more crafty than any beast, but his ways have not changed. His work will always be to discredit the Word of the Lord, set confusion among Christ’s people and have them living in sin so that he may accuse them before the Lord, thus attempting to steal God’s glory.

So the question is: Do you believe what God has said about marriage? I am going to start in Genesis and see where the Lord takes me.

Adam and Eve are our first picture of marriage:

Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him. ~Gen 2:18~

John MacArthur says: When God saw His creation as very good (1:31), He viewed it as being to that point the perfect outcome to His creative plan. However, in observing man’s state as not good, He was commenting on his incompleteness before the end of the sixth day because women, Adam’s counterpart, had not been created. The word’s of this verse emphasize man’s need for a companion, a helper, and an equal. He was incomplete without someone to complement him in fulfilling the task of filling, multiplying, and taking dominion over the earth. This points to Adam’s inadequacy, not Eve’s insufficiency (cf. 1 Cor. 11:9). Women was made by God to meet man’s deficiency.

This is now bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. ~Gen 2:23~

Why didn’t God make Eve from the dust of the ground like He did Adam?  The man (ish) named her woman (isha) because she had her source from him:

For man does not originate from woman, but woman from man, for indeed man was not created for the woman’s sake but woman for the man’s sake. ~1 Cor 11:8-9~

Did God really just say woman was made for the man’s sake?

This shows women’s submission (which I will go into more detail in the future), Eve was to make up what was lacking in Adam.

For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife and the two shall become one flesh. ~Gen. 2:24~

Marriage was the first human institution established. God obviously had a plan for marriage that goes beyond Adam and Eve we see this in: a man shall leave his father and his mother, Adam and Eve were the first man and woman thus they didn’t have a father and mother. So God was obviously speaking of future marriages.

The word joined is welded, unbreakable.

One flesh speaks of complete unity, making a whole. This also implies their sexual completeness. John MacArthur also notes: “One man and one woman constitute the pair to reproduce. The “one flesh” is primarily seen in the child born of that union, the perfect result of the union of two.”

In summary, we have seen that from the beginning God has made marriage between a man and a woman as the first institution to display HIS glory, HIS creation, HIS plan, HIS purpose, for our good! To complete what man is lacking, for pleasure and for reproduction but most importantly to be a picture of the gospel to a dying world.

~Erin

Challenge~Praying for Your Husband Daily

What better area to be challenged then in our prayer lives. As I have said before there is no greater thing we can do for our husbands then to bring them before the throne of our Mighty LORD!

Here is  a snip-it from Courtney’s blog, the creator of Women Living Well and The Completing Him Summer Challenge, for this weeks challenge.
 

James 5:17 says “The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.”

Prayer changes things – do you believe that? Then let’s get started! Here’s a list of items you can begin to pray through for your husband (taken from Stormie’s book):

1. His Wife -that’s a good place to start right? lol!

2. His Work

3. His Finances

4. His Sexuality

5. His Affections

6. His Temptations

7. His Mind

8. His Fears

9. His Purpose

10. His Choices

11. His Health

12. His Protection

13. His Trials

14. His Integrity

15. His Reputation

16. His Priorities

17. His Relationships

18. His Fatherhood

19. His Past

20. His Attitude

21. His Marriage

22. His Emotions

23. His Walk

24. His Talk

25. His Repentance

26. His Deliverance

27. His Obedience

28. His Self-Image

29. His Faith

30. His Future

Challenge: Print this list out and pray through this list daily. Also, do not forget to ask your husband each morning for any specific prayer requests he has for the day. I do this regularly and my husband always answers with a detailed situation he is concerned about. It’s a blessing to pray for him and watch God work and answer. Our intimacy has grown through this and he always knows he has a prayer warrior in me. If you don’t pray daily for him – who will?
 
Also see my other posts on prayer and praying for our husbands, this is an area the Lord has really convicted and grown me in!
 
 
 
Praying for our Husbands:
 
 
~Erin

The Theology of Marriage Q & A

It is interesting the controversy surrounding The Summer Marriage Challenge. What is even more interesting are the debates within the Christian Community itself.

I am not the be all and end all of marriage, but I do know the Author and Creator of it and what He has written in His Word. It seems that most of the controversy within the Christian Community, I believe, is based on wrongfully dividing the Word.

Before I write on this topic I’d like to see if people have specific questions in regards to what the Scriptures say about Marriage. I am sure this is going to end up being a series but one I am very excited about!

So ask away and I will do my best to bring you to the Word for your answers!

Submitting to the authority of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ,

~Erin

Completing Him~Summer Marriage Challenge

If you missed the post of what the Completing Him Summer Challenge is head on over to visit Courtney of Women Living Well, the creator.

Our Dating Days

It has been so much fun to reminisce  about our dating days. The first time I saw my beloved was at his baptism. Funny that weekend I was supposed to be away at a youth retreat but the Lord orchestrated a circumstance that didn’t allow me to go . I had written off men by that time but I remember thinking when I saw him up there “that is the KIND of man I am going to marry”. It wasn’t until a few months later that we actually met. Once we met, we were pretty much inseparable.

 James worked at Dell and for the most part I didn’t really see him until the weekends. The odd time I head over to his place on a weeknight after work and he’d cook me garlic chicken and Alfredo noodles. I loved the anticipation of him coming over or making my way over to his mom’s place. I would get all dulled up to see him, something I have recently reinstated in our marriage you can read about that here and here.

We watched a lot of hockey in our dating days (I just wanted to impress him). Isaac and I loved going to James’ baseball games and cheering him on! We don’t watch much hockey because we haven’t had a TV and James and I now cheer on Isaac at his games!

I met James out our church and was drawn to his love and passion for the Lord (that fire, praise the Lord, has not burned out). One of the things we love to do as a new couple was talk about theology. We’d spend hours with other couples grappling over some difficult issues of Scripture. I know it sounds simple but we are simple people. I’d have say that not much has changed, except we have cut out the 2 hour-long phone calls, we still love to spend time with other couples talking about our great Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

One thing that I’m going to work on this summer is going on more dates, like we use too! Not talking on the phone for hours but face to face. I never worried about how tired I was going to be in the morning when I would talk to him on the phone when we were dating. I’d love to recapture that!

Being in seminary we had a little bit of a time and financial restraint to be with others like we wanted to. But the time we have been back home has been amazing! We look forward to being back in Edmonton and getting to know the church there and entertaining again!

I loved thinking about our dating days but I am so blessed to be married. We learned a lot about dating in our relationship and what we’d like (or not like for that matter) for our children. That maybe an entire post in it self. Here are a few photo’s of us when we were dating.

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Completing Him Summer Challenge


I love this challenge! Why? Because there is no one on earth that I adore, love, respect, trust and want to please more than my husband. The Lord has blessed me with this man! I pray through this challenge of focusing more on him that he will be just as blessed as I seek to honor the Lord through my marriage. It is easy with the hustle and bustle of life and having little ones too loose that daily focus of purposely loving my husband so I am very excited to be consciously focusing on him all this summer!

I am very selective about the challenges that I join. I want them to overflow and become a habit in my life. I want to glorify the Lord in my pursuit of being the Titus 2/Proverbs 31 Women. I don’t want these challenges to be merely something I do for a week or month and walk away and not think about them again. I know the areas of weakness that I have so I choose them to strengthen my walk and bless my family.

So head on over and check out Courtney at Women Living Well for the details of the challenge and join the ladies desiring to make a difference in their marriages as they seek to love their husbands and honor and glorify the King!

Living for the glory of the Savior

~Erin
An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels. Proverbs 31:10

**As most of you know, we are no longer in California, therefore, we are no longer California Coates! My blog will be having some changes so stay tuned!**

Praying for Our Husbands~Monday

What a gift we have in our husbands. In my opinion there is no greater gift we can give our husbands then praying for them daily. No greater love we can show them but by petitioning our Savior on their behalf. These prayers are merely outlines that I use to pray for James (thanks Missy). I have chosen the morning time to pray for James. Every Monday though I am praying the same outline the prayers are always different. I reflect on the day before and also go to the text to pray for him as well. I hope this helps. Any tips that have worked for you in prayer I would love to hear!!

I pray that we would never tire in petitioning the Lord for our husbands that it would always be a great joy and not taken for granted, or thought of as a duty.

1. To take every thought captive, to not be conformed to the world’s thinking, but to think Scripturally. (Romans 12:1,2; 2 Cor. 10:5)

2. That he would not depend on things, people, or circumstances for happiness, but would depend on God alone- consistently feeding upon God’s Word to nourish his soul. 9Jer. 15:16; Hab 3:17-19

~Erin
A man is what he is on his knees before God, and nothing more.~ Robert Murray M’Cheyne

The Getting Dressed Challenge

I love this challenge! This is something that has been on my mind lately. I have a wonderful Seminary Wives leader that is such a huge example to me. She was speaking on this about 2 years ago and I seriously thought she was nuts. I thought that marriage was about “letting it all hangout”. Who cares if my husband sees me a mess, he’ll still love me. Although that is true, he will still love me. He is also bombarded by women all day long who have gone out of their way to look their best while at work or simply just out and about. Then he comes home to a wife that really couldn’t careless about her appearance in front of her family?

Here is what Sarah Mae says in the link above (don’t forget to link…her website is great!)

I want to conquer the beast of frump, and you know I don’t want to do it alone. Starting Monday, I am challenging you (and myself) to get up and get dressed by 8am – and I don’t just mean jeans and a sweatshirt! Jeans, fine, but put on a nice shirt, some mascara, and for the love, do your hair!

Your husband will love it.

So why is it that everyone else gets the best of me? When I go out to church or simply just out I make sure I am somewhat presentable. So my poor husband, who has never said a word to me about this, gets a frumpy me. At heart, it really is just laziness. I never would have done this while we were dating! So why did I change? I should still be going out of my way to impress him, I love him. I want him to have the best of me inside and out!

So here goes the challenge! If you’d like to join: Add your name and blog to the Linky list so we know who you are!

~Erin

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