A little about what the Lord is doing in my heart…

So many conferences, so many Bible studies, 3 services at Church on Sunday you’d think after listening and seeing so many lives that love the Lord you understand your own sin….I couldn’t be more wrong.  As I looking around at the way God has blessed us and knowing in my mind that we don’t deserve anything He so freely has given us, especially salvation, but I have still managed to cultivate this selfish prideful attitude.  It comes out in the smallest area’s and gives birth to bigger, like arriving at the grocery checkout at the exact same time as someone else and graciously allowing yourself to go first because what you have to do is a million times more important than anyone else, don’t they know I’m in a hurry?  Or this one is my fav…sitting at the “#1 table”  at a wedding or banquet so that you can get your food first because your afraid all the good food will be gone and you deserve the good food….or this is the worst (smaller gives birth to bigger sin) how about the gut wrenching way I yelled at my husband last night for waking me up and opening all the windows because I had everything the way I wanted it…how dare he?  NO!  How dare me!  I don’t deserve to be first in line, I don’t deserve the good food and I most definitely don’t deserve the godly husband (who is incredibly patient when I through my temper tantrums which makes me feel even more guilty) the Lord has blessed me with and I certainly don’t deserve for the Lord of all to look down one me in-spite of these sins and call me His(I don’t get it).  I know this verse is so common but man did I ever read it differently this morning…

 15What then? (A)Shall we sin because we are not under law but under grace? (B)May it never be!

 16Do you not (C)know that when you present yourselves to someone as (D)slaves for obedience, you are slaves of the one whom you obey, either of (E)sin resulting in death, or of obedience resulting in righteousness?

 17But (F)thanks be to God that though you were slaves of sin, you became obedient from the heart to that (G)form of teaching to which you were committed,

 18and having been (H)freed from sin, you became slaves of righteousness.

 19(I)I am speaking in human terms because of the weakness of your flesh For just (J)as you presented your members as slaves to impurity and to lawlessness, resulting in further lawlessness, so now present your members as slaves to righteousness, resulting in sanctification.

 20For (K)when you were slaves of sin, you were free in regard to righteousness.

 21Therefore what (L)benefit were you then deriving from the things of which you are now ashamed? For the outcome of those things is (M)death.

 22But now having been (N)freed from sin and (O)enslaved to God, you derive your (P)benefit, resulting in sanctification, and (Q)the outcome, eternal life.

 23For the wages of (R)sin is death, but the free gift of God is (S)eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.

I am so thankful that in-spite of all my sinfulness, God is so gracious.  One thing that His grace is showing me is not that I can continue to sin (verse 15) but it is giving me a clearer picture of the Cross and the Lordship of Jesus Christ over my life and that it is only by His grace that I am even able to be obedient.  Romans 3:10 states THERE IS NONE RIGHTEOUS NOT EVEN ONE. and remembering that the wages of sin is death and I deserve death but by His death I am free from that death, yet I still continue to sin.  How I am so grateful for His patients and forgiveness!